I know it’s not cool to like Eurovision, but I don’t care. I love it! I watch it every year and love it for the cheese-fest that it is.
I’ve never had a full-on Eurovision party (although I’m sure it will happen one day!) but for the past few years I’ve had a friend round to watch and we’ve made our own scorecards to make the whole process a bit more exciting. Then at the end we compare to see how our favourites have fared alongside the official scores.
They rarely match up, mainly because the categories we use to score each act probably aren’t the same as the ones the judging panels use.
Anyway, without further ado, I bring you a FREE (unofficial) Eurovision printable. Ladies and gentleman, Pondering Parenthood’s Totally un-politically-correct Eurovision Scorecard!
You can use it however you like, but here’s how we use it…
There are eight categories, and we score each of them out of ten. We then add the scores across each category, to give a total.
The categories are as follows:
#1 Political Popularity
Terry Wogan (may he rest in peace) banged on about it enough, so we all know that Eurovision is all about politics and that most countries vote for their friends and neighbours. Therefore, I thought it appropriate to have this category first, so that we can mull over how much we like each country while the baffling introductory video is playing. Because let’s be honest, they’re a bit boring, aren’t they?
This is another category you can get a feel for pretty early on. I’ll just leave this video here as an illustration, as I’m pretty sure they didn’t win for their musical prowess…
Impressive graphics, interesting instruments? These are the sorts of things that will score well in this category. Sweden’s entry from 2015 is a good example of this:
Man in a hamster wheel, anyone?
#5 General Attractiveness
This category is to give the men a chance as we originally just had category #6 and we realised that this was unfair to men and, well, women wearing clothing. We all know you’ve got to be attractive to be on Eurovision. Oh, unless you’re from Russia. This lot will have scored well in categories 2, 9 and 10 though…
Sadly, I can’t remember which act had a full on camera-in-the-cleavage shot, but I remember being shocked by the blatant objectification of the performer, before remembering that I was watching Eurovision. Since then we’ve had Polish milkmaids…
If you can still hum it three songs later, it will score high in this category. I’ve had this stuck in my head since yesterday when my husband started singing it after I mentioned I was making the scorecards for this weekend.
#8 Entertainment Value
This can mean whatever you want it to. I kind of felt we needed a category to acknowledge if someone can actually sing but doesn’t necessarily score highly across the other categories. Or you just like the song.
I’ll leave you with one of my personal Eurovision favourites from recent history and wish you an enjoyable evening in front of the television!