Welcome to my new guest post series, Ponderings on Two, where I ask a different blogger and parent of more than one child, to share their experience of having a second child. This week, we hear from Adam, who writes at You’ve Got All This to Come.
Tell me a bit about yourself, your family and your blog.
Hiya, I’m Adam, dad to two brilliant little people (Bea, 2 years and 1 month, and Felix, 3 months) and husband to an amazing wife who keeps us all sorted! I am a deputy head at a primary school (so pretty busy!) and started blogging to make sure I kept some record of our lives as a family. I also was getting frustrated about only hearing the negative side of having children after we found out we were expecting, and wanted to challenge that outlook as much as I could. After two years of posting intermittently, I’m taking the plunge of running my own site rather than relying on WordPress!
What age gap did you have between your first and second children? What’s their relationship like?
The age gap was planned to be around the two year mark. Things went slightly quicker than planned and we have 21 months between them! Bea is currently loving being a big sister, and is very thoughtful, singing songs and telling Felix it’ll be alright when he’s crying. Occasionally she gets it wrong and is a bit heavy-handed!
What was the hardest thing about having a second child?
Going back to work after two weeks. With Bea I had the whole summer holidays, so basically had 8 weeks of paternity leave. This meant that everything was more or less in place by the time I went back. This time around, it was kind of the business end of the school year so I had a lot to balance on not a lot of sleep! Luckily I muddled my way through to the end of term.
What was the best thing about having a second child?
It’s hard to write an answer to this without sounding a bit cheesy, but we’ve absolutely adored watching Beatrice grow and develop into the slightly scatty, funny and confident child she is now and to be honest I can’t wait till that cycle happens all over again with Felix. It’s a lot of work, but it also leads to more rewards.
Were there any products that made life with an older sibling and a newborn easier?
Is CBeebies an appropriate answer? Honestly, apart from our Britax double buggy and our baby bath seat I can’t think of anything particularly imaginative here. Lucy spent a great deal of time looking into our double buggy options, and has chosen a great one.
What’s the best piece of advice you could give someone expecting their second baby?
Great question. Get something in place for what’s going to happen to your firstborn in the birth plan. We don’t have tons of family nearby and the due date clashed with a few people’s holidays which left us nervous!
Secondly, and again not wholly original, be more assured in yourself as parents. You’ve already got a huge amount of experience to draw upon (though you won’t remember any of it – we’re really struggling to remember exactly what having a three-month-old was like first time around!) that will see you through most situations. I’ve always maintained that teamwork is vital for us, and having two has only strengthened that opinion! Sorry, I’ve given three bits of advice there!
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